A white boy’s neurotic exercise of self-justification in response to the cognitive dissonance associated with his ‘Top 100 Albums of the Decade’ List

So I’ve never really created a physical ‘top 10 albums of the year’ list, one that was ‘personally recorded’ by my hand and ‘published’ or whatever. Sure, I’ve considered my favorite albums and songs throughout each year of my alternative life, but the desire to ‘objectively step outside’ my own ‘subjective perception’ never really ‘coursed through my blood’. It always seemed a bit ‘contrived’, ‘inauthentic’, or, at the very least, ‘counter-intuitive’ to ‘true’ and ‘real’ music appreciation. I remember what I’m Wide Awake, it’s Morning did to me. I never needed a list to remind myself, years later, that ‘Neighborhood #1’ or ‘Purple Bottle’ or ‘Crane Wife #1’ or ‘Trapeze Swinger’ were some of the most ‘fucking epic’ songs ever.

So why do I feel the need to make a ‘Best of the Decade’ list now? For my present and future friends and family? Because it’s the first decade to be ‘fully impressed’ upon my memory? Because I can start to feel my memory slipping away from me? Because i’ve ‘acquired the knowledge base’ to understand musical forms? Or the ‘critical capacity’ to actually engage the progression of music? Because it’s super ‘meaningful’? idk. Probably a little bit of everything. Whatever the reasons, I’m doing it. I’m gonna force myself to be as hard-nosed and objective and rational and detached and impartial as possible. It could even be ‘tons of fun’ to go back in time to a ‘simpler past’, to tap into that nostalgia and idealize the ‘progression’ of sound within the context of our generation, or vice versa. I’m not sure.

Ah. But there it is: My reason - to mythologize the past 10 years of sound, rather than ‘demystify’ the experience of music. My objectivity is an exercise in deconstruction, or a phenomenological engagement with this sonic and rhythmic construction called music. I want to break down both its physical and metaphysical power into components and constituents. I guess the plan is to create a language for a generation; if that’s ‘too ambitious’ (which it is), then I hope to maybe reveal a narrative for our ‘Digital Age’.

But what really defines the ‘best albums’, anyways? Are they the records that sell the most copies, sound the most pleasing, evoke the most emotion and beauty, say the most things, divert the most hours, stimulate the most thought, or capture the most memories? I didn’t think I knew for myself. I ‘winged it’ and somehow ‘understood’ that From Here We Go Sublime was brilliant and unprecedented. One criterion I realized was the fact that most deserving albums ‘sound like nothing else.’ They are ‘authentic’ in their ‘originality’. And should make previous generations ‘somewhat jealous’ that they failed to live long enough to hear this collection of songs. I know I’m ‘damn jealous’ that I couldn’t ‘be there’ for the dawn of the German Romantic movement. That would’ve been sweet, but at least I can hear it now. Which brings me to another standard of value: relevancy within a sociopolitical scene/context. These albums must be grounded in the moment, in the ‘now’, and flow with the forces operating within the eternal present. Lastly, comes the ‘meaning’ of the recording. If it’s relevant and authentic, the overall meaning is accessible and kind of just effuses from the final product through the ear canal or something to be realized by the listener.

Which brings me to my final, probably somewhat obvious point: that the overall significance, weight, mass and gravity of an album can be measured by the sum of its parts, or by the degree of its power and potential energy of its affection. ‘Best albums’ possess Magnitude; they have a capacity to affect the listener with knowledge, insight, relation, pleasure, pain, and, namely, existential possibility. But enough over-thinking. Here’s a little formula I designed to ‘calculate’ the power of an album, and in honor of the Lebowski (and not Kelvin) I’ve decided to bind my 3-part rubric by the perfect score of 300, and each component by 100 Caucasian points.

Greatness/Magnitude/Power of the Aesthetic

=

Relevancy within a context (originality, creativity, sociopoliticalscene)

+

‘Authenticity’ (homogeneity, talent/musicianship, length)

+

Meaning (range, lyrics, themes/concepts)